Sunday, February 27, 2005

Everyone, Wake up!

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We let Bring the Beef--a site mainly concerned with how to choose the right color of off-white to paint your model home--do this to us!

We're the Alliance of fucking Power!!!

No one insults us like this. No one.

Well, Hey Everyone. Glad I Could Come

Hey guys, Thanks for the invite. I have seen your work and I was pleasantly surprised with the lack of assault. I will make this brief. I haven't been on a Group-Blog before, although it sure does sound fun, right? Actually, I am new to the whole blogging experience, be gentle. I have only had mine up for about a week or so, but feel free to stop by and have a drink.

(By the way, are there rules and regulations for the AOP? I would like to not break any 'laws'.)

For now, Matt

Friday, February 25, 2005

Get them!

Bring the Beef

They called us stupid whorebags!

Their gang is no match for ours! Alliance of Power--unite!

ooops

apologies to my fellow gang members..my last entry was not suposed to be entered here. please don't beat me down!!!

Oh, we'll bring the beef!

And some A1 Sauce.

How would you like your steak, sir?

http://bringthebeef.blogspot.com/

I was doing some re-con, and I noticed that they have 33 members in their gang (some are blogging veterans) and 77 Technorati links. Interests include totally blowing and talking about Pepperidge Farm cookies or some junk.

Although, they appear to be quite strong, they are not classically trained in destruction and sustained street fighting like us.

This will be an all out war. Man your battlestations.

Waiter! *snap snap* I'm ready to order. I'd like my steak tartare--as in really bloody and disgusting to look at.

Friday beginning at 3PM EST!

I Heart Wil Wheaton

Ohmigawrsh, you guys, we totally have to get Wil Wheaton to join. Then we will be really, really cool. I went to his blog to start the comment parade, but he had just posted about Dr. Hunter S. Thompson and I didn't feel right to be all "I's loves you, Wils" in the midst of so much heartfelt sincerity, so then I was going to email him but he says that he doesn't have lots of freetime and, even more importantly, I'm leaving in like six hours for Barbados (i'm location-dropping just to rub it in ... enjoy the snow, suckas!) (i call you 'suckas' but really, in all actuality, i love you like i love vanilla frosting) so I don't want to email him now because then what if he writes back and he gets my out-of-office message and I don't write back for several days and he thinks I'm ignoring him and he hates me? I just wouldn't be able to stand it, if Wil Wheaton hated me; I'd be torn asunder with regrets for my misdeeds.

And so. The task falls unto ye all: Let us smother him with love and adoration and get him to join the gang, because LIKE-A-WHOA, won't the initiation rites be so much fun if he's around?

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Wil Wheaton Wants to Join the Alliance

I heard a rumor that Wil Wheaton, of Star Trek and blogging fame, is offended that he has not been asked to join the alliance yet.

http://www.wilwheaton.net/

Let the bells ring really really loudly throughout the land!

They said it couldn't be done. But we did it. We really did it.

Fellow gang members, please give a hearty welcome to blogger, activist, philanthropist, Real World Superstar extraordinaire... Dan Renzi!

Sorry Dan we failed to disclose, but as part of the initiation red tape, everyone gets 7 minutes with you in a dark room!

A BIG thank you to all Alliance of Power members who participated. A BIGGER no thanks to Phil who went to outrageous extremes to sabotage the adamantium house we live in. Nothing destroys adamantium Phil!

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Real World Superstar Dan Renzi...

...has missed the 8PM EST deadline to join our Alliance of Power.


Now, he must PAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We are the Alliance of Power, and we are serious!

We shall no longer hide behind computer screens. Here is a direct hyperlink!

Real World Superstar Dan Renzi's Blog

Remember the haiku!

And so, in this poignant hour, I ask you to join with me in prayer.

Dear Satan,

To Whom It May Concern,

This day we have set upon a mighty endeavor, a struggle to fatten our republic.

Please give us the strength to click over to Real World Superstar Dan Renzi's blog and type words that would convince him to the Alliance of Power.

Give us the willpower to refrain from making insincere statements that would hinder such an arrangement.

Please note that Real World Superstar Dan Renzi uses Typepad and has a comments board that makes it easy to produce fraudulent posts in someone else's name. Deliver us not into evil and strike down those who would do such things.

To help focus, I've prepared a haiku that doubles as a mantra:

Oh, Real World
Superstar Dan Renzi--Please
Join our ruthless gang!


Amen.

Saturday, February 19, 2005

Stop!! Wait!

What are we about to do?! We are the Earth's most powerful blogging gang ever assembled. We need REAL WORLD SUPERSTAR DAN RENZI amongst our ranks. He's friends with Coral! She would have us murdered!

Besides, he just faced destruction at the hands of the yet unaired Real World/Road Rules Challenge: Battle of the Sexes 2. If we went to his site and beat the crap out of him, he'd probably go kill himself. I don't want REAL WORLD SUPERSTAR DAN RENZI's blood on our hands.

I think we should look back to Bex's idea and shower him with unbridled lust until he joins the Alliance of Power.

Real World Superstar Dan Renzi !!!!

The target has shifted. We have hit the big-time. Dan Renzi from the Miami season of the Real World has his own blog. And, more importantly, it allows comments!

Time of attack: Tuesday, 3 p.m. EST.

http://danrenzi.typepad.com/stuff/

Friday, February 18, 2005

A request

Can we get a little heads up on which blog we're going after next? Like, when someone picks one, announce the attack will commence at 2:00pm, so we can all prepare ourselves and go in at once. It'll be more...effective this way.

Nobody will take us seriously if we are not organized!

a message from i-pugged-bill's-mom

I Plugged Bill's Mom said...

hey there, piece of shit. How about you do the world a favor; delete this blog and kill yourself?

Also, tell all your little friends in the gay pride organization that Bills Mom says hi

9:57 PM


this is the retarded comment that was left twice on my blog. any one get a love note from the above degenerate?

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Actually, THIS is Our Mascot

Senor Fernandez



A picture says a thousand words. This picture of our new mascot, the Fighting Mongoose, happens to say:

RAWR! GRRR! SNARL! AAUUGH! DEATH! BLOOD! FIERCE! MOFO! BIATCHES! BADASS!

Among other things.

What a great mascot. Props to popculturewhore for the idea and for the name.

The Mongoose

I am proud to announce that the MONGOOSE is now the official mascot of the ALLIANCE OF POWER!

Please post a picture of a mongoose to show your solidarity (and to deflect the fact that I am completely photo-illiterate and have no idea how to do this)

Blogland be warned: The mongoose is wily. VERY wily.

Now with the participation of the MONGOOSE, the ALLIANCE OF POWER will be unstoppable!

I can't help promoting myself.

If any of you live in NYC I am throwing a party Friday night and you are all invited! Here are the details.

Screw Your Resolutions Party- THIS FRIDAY!!
Bernietop17.blogspot.com and the people that brought you “The Extravanganza"
Present
SCREW YOUR RESOLUTIONS (and hopefully someone) 2005
Mad River Bar and Grill
1442 3rd Avenue9-12am
Friday Feb 18th
40 dollars all you can drink open bar

TOP 8 reasons to attend
8. You struck out on Valentines day and this is your chance for redemption. "Don't give up, don't ever give up."
7. You are typically the drunkest person in the bar when you go out. Here you will be among peers and we welcome you young Jedi.
6. Work is hard from what I hear, its time to play harder.
5. Immaturity will be looked upon fondly at this establishment. If you act like a 3 year old (who drinks of course) you will be one of the most well behaved people there
4. Admit it, you gave up on your resolutions 2 weeks ago. Join us and trample, dance and spit all over them.
3. Every single one of us misses college whether we care to admit it or not. Take a trip back in a time and party like its 1999.
2. It has been 3 years since you broke out your Frat guy sweater vest or sorority formal T-shirt . Suit up and wear your letters with Pride.
1. Look, if you had one shot or one opportunity, To seize everything you ever wanted in one moment Would you capture it or just let it slip?
Come to the party!!

FRATASTIC SPECTACULAR dress code strongly recommended: acceptable attire for this party includes any T-Shirts adorned with Greek Letters, Sorority formals, Mixers or intramural teams. Other recommended dress include, Togas, Topsiders, Khakis with New Balance, Short Dresses, any 80’s rock band attire and so on. If you have any questions on appropriate frat gear please contact one of the members of the Top17 and they will be glad to instruct you on how to dress.

Fernandez!!!

We gave meaning to your life... and this is how you repay us?!
http://plvsvltra.blogspot.com/2005/02/blog-war.html

You can not humiliate all 25 of us, Fernandez! Only 1 or 2, at best.

For our amusement, the Alliance of Power is proud to reveal to itself a partially complete Transcript of Tyranny that has been recovered from Fernandez's destroyed comments board. It lies herein the comments section of this post!

I'm In Too!

And I didn't even have to get jumped! I have joined ALLIANCE OF POWER! Comrades, I will maim for you, I will kill for you, I will rape and pillage blogland for your benefit. Nothing is too good for THE ALLIANCE OF POWER! I will cover random strangers in spicy chipolte dipping sauce! All hail THE ALLIANCE and fear our wrath!

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Can't we smother 'em with love?

I dunno, Gang -- I'm not so good at being mean to real people. I'm only able to be mean when I'm talking about celebrities I've never met. Could we destroy someone with love? I mean, like, what if we smother them with such an overabundance of ickypoo that they just give up, lest they risk drowning in our saccharine sentiment? Heck, I commented at Senor Fernandez's site but I felt so evil.

I am no good at being evil, which is why I'd like to suggest the love-destructo method as an alternative. Smothering with love! Just like the way we smother our vegan chicken strips with honey mustard sauce at our weekly den meetings!

And, should that fail, I could always crush our enemies using my vagina-of-steel.

Who is Jon Fernandez?!

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Security! This man somehow infiltrated the Alliance of Power and had this to say:

Jon said...
Nice blog.
You people have your own set of rules ..? What are they if so?

Take care all,

Jon


Just as we pander to no one but ourselves, we answer to no one too!

We must all hold hands and take down this menace.

http://plvsvltra.blogspot.com

Nice Work

I am dissapointed that I didnt take part in the destruction. I was washing my hair.

Should we link up each others blogs? For some reason few bloggers ever link me up.

Must be because I am jewish.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

A Transcript of Tyranny Has Been Restored

The Alliance of Power never forgets anything!

Click on comments to see the full transcript of our destruction.

Sources have confirmed the webmaster of I Plug Bill's Mom parks in handicapped spots when he shops at Wal-Mart...

because we have crippled him!

I'm in!

So, do I have to get jumped into this gang or what?

Thwarted Again!

With a simple click of a button, the Alliance of Power has been completely decimated over at http://www.i-plugged-bills-mom.blogspot.com

Did anyone save the comments thread? Perhaps we can go over it and review for hilarity and new strategies.

Let's find a blog with some ethical standards for now on--one that won't turn their comments section off as we beat the digital crap out of them.

LISTEN UP, INTERNET. YOU WILL KNOW OUR NAME.

Monday, February 14, 2005

Official Chicken Strips of the Alliance of Power

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We shall consume them with Spicy Chipotle Southwest dipping sauce. That way, people will know we mean business.

AOP News

Introducing HOMESTYLE CHICKEN STRIPS... official Alliance of Power Chicken Strips. AND...
I'm proud to announce that CAFFIENE FREE DIET COKE is the official soft drink of the Alliance of Power. Also,
bother http://i-plugged-bills-mom.blogspot.com or you are out of the gang.

How did this happen?

Where am I and how did I get here?

Just wondering.

xo

They Deleted all our comments

How can our hatred be thwarted so easily?

I put alot of thought into what I wrote. I hate hipsters blows.


Tell me what to do now, I need direction.

new recruit?

i have a friend that, i think, would be an awesome addition to AP(/eastwest, peace out bitch). please view her blog and let's jump her in.

Brandy for Sale

we are family!

isn't it so great that we can all get together and beat people down. let's spread love and peace with shots to the head and chest.

Sunday, February 13, 2005

TARGET #1: ihatehipsters.blogspot.com

OK.... The time has come. Besides having a stupid and obvious name, this poor excuse for a blog desribes itself as an "Online bulletin board whereby We the People can post events (bands, gallery openings, partees, champagne brunches etc.) in the greater L.A. area, and thereby keep abreast of what all is happening in this mad sprawl of a town." Thats right... LA... LA! And these bloggers have the audacity to be on a site called "i hate hipsters". I think everyone in the Alliance of Power knows what needs to be done. Let the bothering commence... see you there!

The time has come.

We're here, We're Queer, Get used to it.

I will do my best

To do whatever it is the blog is trying to accomplish. I am a soldier of the alliance and await my commands. Consider me your hired gun.

Bernie

I can't spell Alignance...

So it's hard for me to find this place. Any sugestions?

Saturday, February 12, 2005

I've never group-blogged before.

How could something so dirty feel so - uh - dirty?

By the way, "Alliance of Power" sounds like a white power organization.

If it is, can I be the hapless stooge who keeps getting called to appear on the Stern show?

Ready and Willing

Now that I've joined the gang, I would just like you all to know that one of my most secretest, deepest, darkest fantasies involves getting gang banged.

And I've never been part of a gang until now.

So...?

Oh god!

I was like sooooo drunk last night when I joined this thing. Just woke up this morning in a blog with like seven other dudes. I swear this was the first time.

Please don't tell my Dad?

Reasons Why Joining a Gang is the Right Thing to Do

One of the main ideas being tossed around is that every week we will pick a day and a random blog--Friday at Funnsylvania, for example. When the time is nigh, we will jointly go over to the site and crash his or her comments board, talking about whatever we want to talk about on it. When the day is over, we all just leave. Think of it like an internet flashmob.

Another idea is that we can succumb to the forces of evil and annoy bloggers or sites we don't like. I can think of several lame political blogs that would be ripe for this. Think of it like the movie You Got Served.

Instead of being solitary dots along the terrain, why don't we connect them and loosely unify. It will be good promotion for your blog if you have one and it will give you something fun to do at work besides work.

Alliance of Power also looks great on college applications.

With your help, we will be the toughest and most merciless internet gang in the whole country. Invite your friends.

Also--Let me know if you're interested in developing the site and taking an Admin role.

Melancholy and Merriment

Actually, we are a gay pride organization, albeit secondarily.

Tell no one.

Friday, February 11, 2005

Welcome Gang Members

We are the Alliance of Power.

We are an unruly gang of bloggers and internet savvy individuals hellbent on destruction and personal amusement.

We know that there is no order, only disorder and chaos.

We are not a gay pride organization.

Join us as we beat the crap out of other bloggers and rule the internet with our fists.

Beyond

Beyond the outer reaches of the city in the sky,
The Alliance of Power emerges as the driving force behind a totally new and cool internet revolution.

The jig is up.