Sunday, June 10, 2007

Break up with your stuff

Farewell to you jeans, of waist size 32
Can you believe I used to fit into you?
That was a long time ago, when you used to fit
Now you cut off my circulation when I try to sit.
You actually press my butt flat, you're so tight
And the camel toe in's a hideous sight.
So I'll take you to a thrift shop, raise money for those in need
Though no one will look cuter in them than I did. No, indeed.

Goodbye to you, cell phone of area code 310
Which still I have--though I moved away from LA years ago.
I've accrued all these people who text me en masse
"Happy Earth Day!" and "You're so special to me!" It's such a pain in the ass.
Who are these strangers who claim to be such close friends?
They obviously don't know me, or those annoying texts would end.
If you promise not to mass-text my new number, I'll give it to you.
And with my old number gone, bill collectors will stop calling too!

Arreviderci, facial cleanser, from my beloved Kiehl's.
Now granted, after washing I do like how my skin feels--
But you don't clean like you used to, my skin's grown immune
And now my face becomes a big oily mess far too soon.
Please don't fret, it's not you--you worked well for a while
But the pimply-teenager look just isn't my style.
It's time to try Lancome, Estee Lauder, or Clinique
I should have a new cleanser by the end of the week.

One more thing to get rid of: these blue shoes are just vile.
Smell that stench? It's my feet after wearing them a while.
They're such great shoes, cute and comfy beyond all compare
When I walk on them it's like I'm floating on air.
But that air is beginning to smell really bad
Not to mention they're filthy and look generally sad.
But all good things must come to an end, as they say--
So I think my blue shoes have been worn their last day.

It's so refreshing to rid myself of all these things past
Wasn't it yesterday when I first got them? Time does move so fast.
But I don't need them anymore, they're just in the way,
And those jeans are still good. I'm sure someone will pay.
So farewell to you, things, it is time to move on.
Our time together, it's so sad, has at last come and gone.
So to all who are reading, you should open your drawers
And your closets and cabinets and toss that garbage of yours.

--by daniel renzi


Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Charter provides for the support of One hundred aged and decayed Gentlemen-Punsters. Master Horner was at once the preeminent beau of the neighborhood, spite of the prejudice against learning.. Perhaps another twenty minutes had passed, when one of the men had an illuminating idea that resulted, later on, in pleasant relations for all of them.. And thus the excursion proceeded, until suddenly a shote, surprised in his calm search for roots in a fence corner, darted into the road, and stood for an instant gazing upon the newcomers with that idiotic stare which only a pig can imitate.. After the double had become a matter of course, for nearly twelve months before he undid me, what a year it was! Full of active life, full of happy love, of the hardest work, of the sweetest sleep, and the fulfilment of so many of the fresh aspirations and dreams of boyhood! Dennis went to every school-committee meeting, and sat through all those late wranglings which used to keep me up till midnight and awake till morning.. I'll get you some water to bathe your eyes, he offered, and ran into the little room over the kitchen to get a pitcher.. I continued by saying that if she only had a man with such a virile genital she would not have to fear the officers--that is, she would have nothing to wish from them, for she is mainly kept from going without protection and company by her fancies of temptation.. I thought perhaps he might want the money for some purpose before he came for us.. The analysis of obscure and intricate dreams discloses something very similar; the dream scene again pictures as realized some desire which regularly proceeds from the dream ideas, but the picture is unrecognizable, and is only cleared up in the analysis.. Evelyn now, for the first time, saw the real humor of the situation.. She pointed to a sleepy boy about five years old, who with head thrown back and mouth wide open, was slumbering in his chair.. [1] Ich moechte gerne etwas geniessen ohne 'Kosten' zu haben.. But Elder Brown's sin during the remainder of the day contained an element of responsibility.. Their sympathy is aroused, and the following syllogism, which does not reach consciousness, is completed in them: If it is possible to have this kind of an attack from such causes, I too may have this kind of an attack, for I have the same reasons.. I must further remark that the dream is far shorter than the thoughts which I hold it replaces; whilst analysis discovered that the dream was provoked by an unimportant occurrence the evening before the dream.. During the time that I am unfolding the thoughts at the back of the dream I feel intense and well-grounded emotions.. Dabney, the year before, had given them at this occasion a scolding on impropriety of behavior at lyceum lectures.. It cannot be denied that this belief accords with the dream image, because it is arrayed in the psychical appearance of probability; the child is without the capacity which it will acquire later to distinguish hallucinations or phantasies from reality. This road is not wide enough, and that train is nearly here.. This danger is released through the full sway of the dream process...

10:02 PM  

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